punch-drunk love

march 2015 

remember when I kissed u

to punch-drunk love

u said that movie made u 

feel alive

& I bought a shirt that smells like ur house

(funny how I think of u now)

don’t care it if hurts I

told her I can live like this

new york is nice

october 2014

can't tell if I'm wildly depressed

or finally "happy" or at least

a stable individual

since you died

new york is nice

I think I'm in love, sometimes

I keep making lists on post-its

(cue "Nothing Gets Crossed Out")

painting wings makes me feel stronger

choosing outfits makes me feel stronger

I fix my eyebrows and feel

invincible

blue corn leaves

october 2014

you make me feel like

blue corn leaves

a cold morning

growing up

crying

saving things for later

and feeling warm

you make me want

to raise your children

and live in this moment forever

in love via internet

january 2015

why can’t I sleep at night?

I think abt u, like, a lot

feel like I would cum

the second u touched me

he traced my curves with his

skin/mouth on a dance floor

no one saw the way he did it

we didn’t know each other

but sometimes that feels good

I need to wear a shock collar

that stops me from 

r e a c h i n g

like an idiot, towards u

he takes me out and speaks french

when I’m too anxious and he

says breathless innocent things

sometimes I can’t help but

want him

I watch u ignore me online

I’ve watched u watch me in person

god I can’t wait

to watch u again

untitled january

january 2015

is it okay to only like u for ur hands

do u care abt ur pride? 

sometimes people just 

make each other feel good

but I still wish he were mine

32 oz of orange juice

november 2014

I want to paint my face & cry & drink 32 oz of orange juice

I want to play ricky eat acid over lesbian porn & ponder my losses

maybe if I clean my room and light a vanilla scented candle

I will obtain a security in this world, yes, a valuable individual

I want to be heard, to be seen, to be feared as an indigenous woman

for all indigenous women and my best friend and my future children

I want to love an ocean within an ocean (slender shoulders)

I want to wake up. I want to stop sleeping in so late, drink coffee

fill my windowsill with plants who will never remember my name

I want to drink water w chia seeds & wash the paint off my lips

write a song act how much I love/d boy, only boy, always boy

write my L O V E for all down in purple ink & carry on

of course

november 2014

of course everyone likes you

I'm just small and shy

I think I'd write to be closer to you

I wanna pull your fucking curly hair