punch-drunk love

march 2015 

remember when I kissed u

to punch-drunk love

u said that movie made u 

feel alive

& I bought a shirt that smells like ur house

(funny how I think of u now)

don’t care it if hurts I

told her I can live like this

new york is nice

october 2014

can't tell if I'm wildly depressed

or finally "happy" or at least

a stable individual

since you died

new york is nice

I think I'm in love, sometimes

I keep making lists on post-its

(cue "Nothing Gets Crossed Out")

painting wings makes me feel stronger

choosing outfits makes me feel stronger

I fix my eyebrows and feel

invincible

blue corn leaves

october 2014

you make me feel like

blue corn leaves

a cold morning

growing up

crying

saving things for later

and feeling warm

you make me want

to raise your children

and live in this moment forever

in love via internet

january 2015

why can’t I sleep at night?

I think abt u, like, a lot

feel like I would cum

the second u touched me

he traced my curves with his

skin/mouth on a dance floor

no one saw the way he did it

we didn’t know each other

but sometimes that feels good

I need to wear a shock collar

that stops me from 

r e a c h i n g

like an idiot, towards u

he takes me out and speaks french

when I’m too anxious and he

says breathless innocent things

sometimes I can’t help but

want him

I watch u ignore me online

I’ve watched u watch me in person

god I can’t wait

to watch u again

untitled january

january 2015

is it okay to only like u for ur hands

do u care abt ur pride? 

sometimes people just 

make each other feel good

but I still wish he were mine

32 oz of orange juice

november 2014

I want to paint my face & cry & drink 32 oz of orange juice

I want to play ricky eat acid over lesbian porn & ponder my losses

maybe if I clean my room and light a vanilla scented candle

I will obtain a security in this world, yes, a valuable individual

I want to be heard, to be seen, to be feared as an indigenous woman

for all indigenous women and my best friend and my future children

I want to love an ocean within an ocean (slender shoulders)

I want to wake up. I want to stop sleeping in so late, drink coffee

fill my windowsill with plants who will never remember my name

I want to drink water w chia seeds & wash the paint off my lips

write a song act how much I love/d boy, only boy, always boy

write my L O V E for all down in purple ink & carry on

of course

november 2014

of course everyone likes you

I'm just small and shy

I think I'd write to be closer to you

I wanna pull your fucking curly hair

the weight of the world collects in oceans

november 2014

the weight of the world collects in oceans

oceans collect in wells of comfort, nurture, color

oceans collect in wombs and slight shoulders

they feed you and me (first through our mouths)

it is a disease when they pour their toxins

it is a disease when we accept those toxins

choking don't touch me, i can't breathe

strange fruit in the trees, in the streets

the weight of the world collects in oceans

your disease darkens and darkens and darkens

is this why white is the power? can you 

be cleaner when you darken the rest?

it is their fault they drink their lives away

it is their fault suicide is easier than speaking

about what "had to happen," what happens still

in the institutionalized intrusions of oceans

the weight of the world collects in oceans

collects in your knees when the marching gets difficult

when too many voices overpower the important ones

moves you to tears when you think of his children

yes, the weight of the world collects in oceans

our oceans bring us together, I love your slight shoulders

and all the things we can be for each other

and for all the colors and waters and animals

untitled november

november 2014

all I wanna do is write poetry

and scream your name

(silence from june to june)

listening to the frequencies

of your gentle, dreadful bloom

it smells like leaves dying

or the world changing colors

you are god

november 2014

you are every love song that touches me

you are the fresh lines in a photograph

you are the color dark grey and off-white linens

you are summer, you are fall, you are spring

you are home, tradition, and religion

(you are god)

you are mint lemonade, omlets and berries

you are frothed almond milk

you are the bubbles in adventure

you are the leaves turning blue

(the air, too)

you are poems in an iphone

you are secret posts

you are heartbreak, heartbreak

you are highways in the nighttime

you are the passenger seat