mother's day

may 11, 2014.

it's mother's day and I just found out my grandmother has cancer

all I can think of is disease and you so far away from me

you've been looking so tired lately

I know how hard it's all been on you

you're fighting and you're winning

but at what cost keeps my heart in knots

I call you and you answer and your voice is tired and crying

but you don't break, you're slipping up but never falling down

I wish you knew how much I cared

I promise myself to call you more

to be a more present best friend

to be the people who have left us

but watch us in a whisper from the trees

I would hold your hand in the sunlight

may

I would hold your hand in the sunlight

I would wipe the sweat from your brow

I would kiss your lips when they're red 

and your nose is running

and you're out of breath

I would ignore all the ways

your ex girlfriend tries to destroy us

I can't have sweet thoughts of you anymore

innocence does not exist

we're all guilty and wrong

I was never "the one"

but the first to give you what you needed